sigh - I heard it by way of a comment he made to another patient while I was standing there and then he called me later that evening and mentioned it in more detail (I think forgetting that the information is new to me even if he's known about it for some time)

Right now I see him every few months - but not by my choice or his. Earlier in the year I saw him every month. We do a little more than medication management. I'm not sure I can articulate what we've been doing to someone - I don't have a description for the method or what happens during our appointments. It's a mix. I'm not even sure I can say what we've been working on. I'm rather general. I'm not happy won't really do for someone new. But this pdoc understands. He's my second and he's such a find and so different than the last one that I really don't want to lose him or go back to the same kind of thing I experienced before.

The other thing is - I am doing better so I'm afraid it won't look like there's much wrong if I see someone else - they won't know where I've come from and may discount my need. What if they doubt the diagnosis? What if they want to change the meds? What if they don't care about me? What if they're not all the things he is: conservative about giving out/relying on drugs, believing that drugs may not be necessary for the rest of ones life if you adjust, accessible, open-minded, caring, compassionate, personable, animated, progressive, and devoted. How can you top that?