Thanks for your reply Musinglizzy.
Wow, good question.. I don't know! I haven't thought about a connection between the two, but I think the two are connected at least in part. So it comes mainly from feeling rejected and at times from feeling just forgotten, by both my T when I have a rough time and don't get acceptance (I usually solve it when I see her again but when it happens it's really painful for the whole week) and other people in my life. I am tired of living like this and getting so fiercely attached to some people, I don't want to feel like junk forever - but I don't seem to find my own balance and strength. I live on my own and am quite independent, but I'm a little needy child inside and constantly grieving. I think I'm depressed but no one in my life realized it and not even my T.
Sorry for the rant.