I have what people here would call complex PTSD although honestly I'd never heard that term until I came to this site (I haven't read a lot about PTSD because it upsets me). But I just wanted to tell you that I've been through an intense PTSD treatment (a form of exposure therapy that I don't remember the name of) and it was very difficult and also one of the best things I could ever have done for myself. I think if there is anything I'm proud of in coping with my past it is that I did that intense therapy and learned to cope with the bad stuff so much better. It really is something that I don't really think about so much now but when I do the trauma part is pretty much gone. It's just sad now. Which is vastly different than before. Obviously my past always will be with me and sometimes it will hurt but I'm managing it so much better now that it is't nearly as awful. It is good that your therapist is waiting for you to be in a good spot to do that; for some complicated reasons we decided to do it when I wasn't very well and it was pretty hard that way and it took a lot more sessions than it was supposed to because I needed extra time to cope and sometimes needed a session or two off to process things. But doing it then was the right thing for me. However if waiting had been possible I certainly would have preferred that.

I just wanted to reassure you that going through trauma in therapy in general sounds worse than it is because it is a safe place with a safe person. And it is good to get all that pain out. Really good.