i was thankfully lucky to find a psychiatrist who understands dissociation. what you have described is kind of similar to my own experiences.

when i was in high school, my dissociation was at its worst up until i was around 23. it was around in childhood too, but i was not old enough or aware enough to know what it was.

i had an experience in high school where i had to write an exam, i think a science or math one. i don't remember if i was in a different classroom to write it or one i had taken a class in, but i can remember not knowing what the exam was about and not remembering the subject or even the class. it was very strange and scared me.

i would actually just randomly get up and leave class often too and just wander around the school or go sit somewhere because i was so dissociated i just was not 'there.'

i think the journal idea is good. i kept an online one for most of those years. it is scary to read back on it, and i haven't kept one since but probably should again.

does your school know that you struggle with anything in general? it helped me to go to my principal and be able to access a school counselor as well if needed. they were understanding if i had days i could not go to school or stay in class and made accommodations to help me with missed days or when i just wasn't able to do the work on time.

to this day, i have no idea how i even got through high school. i barely remember it and really wasn't even that smart to start with. it was a huge struggle for me.

hope you get some things sorted out a bit more.