I think that you need to stop thinking there is a better way to deal with this. There simply isn't. You wouldn't be human if you weren't affected by it. At the end, for Helen, I really couldn't stay. I went while they administered the final dose of "who knows what" and I heard the death rattle in her throat. I left her side to her children at the final moment. It will probably stay with me forever. Dying and all that it entails goes with living. Maybe try to think of all the good times you surely must have had with her. Zone out a bit, if you can. Try to replace sad thoughts with happier ones, and if you are religious, believe that she will pass to a better place. and this too shall pass.