I am sure that lots of us are estranged from a family member. I am and it sucks.

You can either confront her and be "the bad guy" or you can attempt to let it go. If you don't let it go, then you will always be viewed as being at fault because it's for sure that she told all of the family who chooses to listen that she extended the olive branch and you refused it.

What she did was wrong. And I'm sure that your family knows this.

How do you get over it...I don't think you will. But, like a lot of things, you just smile and fake it 'till you make it. You probably will never be best friends and go to the movies, but as long as your family sees you being nice then they will be happy.