Sorry Wabbit for the grief of separation you feel.

It is not your fault. You survived but that does not mean you are responsible for what happened or what did not happen.

Have you considered talk to a grief counselor about this?

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.