Hang in there Break. I'm struggling a bit too right now with difference in expectations v reality. I'm also worried about the cost of my health care. I've been told it will be affordable but I'll believe it when I see it. One good bit of news I can bring you is that as you age and IF you do gain some weight certain guys really like that. Gaining a lil as you get older is expected and I used to worry too. But I realized and saw that people of both genders actually find this attractive. I hope I'm not being inappropriate here I'm just trying to diminish the fear that I had that's in you. You seem like an awesome person