Quote:
Originally Posted by Maven
My boyfriend was cheated on in his only previous relationship, which was many years ago. He told me he would never tolerate cheating, and told me it's wrong, which is how I feel, too. But he's had a friend online with a lot of health issues that I'm not particularly worried about, even though he told me he thinks she is romantically interested in him. He says he wouldn't want to be with her because of her many problems even if she was single. So, I don't worry too much there, but there's another woman he went to school with years ago who he has been taking dinner to and giving her rides. He often goes out late at night (like right now) just to drive (he says) even when he has work or church the next day. It's 1:17 a.m. right now. He's a friendly and nice guy, so maybe it's nothing, but I can't help wondering, you know? He tells me about these women, so that makes me worry less that he's cheating, but I also know that's not proof.
My sister disapproves of his behavior, but since she thinks I can't take care of myself--and I can't right now, but I think I could learn, although I don't have the financial means to do so--she doesn't think I should bring my concerns up with him. Don't rock the boat, open that can of worms, so to say. What do you all think?
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sometimes those that are cheating are the most adamant about how against it they are. In those cases it's an attempt to prove they are not cheating but because they are, they tend to be even more passionate about proving they are not doing so, right up to actually revealing information on the ones they are cheating with to deflect your suspicions.
A person having a friend taht is of the opposite sex is entirely normal and fine. an honest and faithful person does not have the need to go out of their way to mention how they are NOT INTERESTED in their friend and on top of that, mention how they (the friend) is romantically interested in them. This is what I see: he mentions that she wants him romantically to underscore just how amazingly faithful he is and to me it's overkill for someone in a trusting relationship. Seems to me more likely than honest, he is hiding something. I don't see the point of mentioning how she likes him romantically to his significant other (you) except to raise your insecurity levels with the goal of making his faked faithfulness look even more profound. That's how I see it and in my experience it's been the case on more than one occassion. (sp?)
As for the late night "drives"... who does that? unless you're in a fight, or in some way someone needs to relax, get away or something, it doesn't make sense even without considering cheating. I mean who just drives without any kind of destination in mind or something? in today's day and age when gas isn't exactly cheap, its' kind of unlikely he has no plans or destination in mind. It is very questionable.
Without context it's hard to say for sure about the dinners and rides he gives the other woman but at best it's also questionable. Lunch yeah if they are a coworker, sure but dinner is an entirely different thing. Lunch is a short break from work and everyone does that but dinner is something typically spent with someone you are intimately involved with or a friend you are very close with and spend a lot of time with but a woman who is a so called friend or acqaintence isn't typically one you would take out to dinner, especially not multiple times, if that's the case.