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Old May 01, 2015, 12:55 PM
Seeyalater Seeyalater is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2009
Posts: 230
Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006 View Post
Not much in a marriage is ever one person's fault. Without talking to him it's hard to figure out entirely what the problem is but my inclination is to believe there is a lot more to this than paying bills. The more telling thing is that he feels like a "father" instead of a husband. That speaks volumes about how he feels in the relationship. what I see just from your first post is this. You mentioned you have no family, friends in the area where you two live. Why is that? This to me seems to imply that it's quite possible that you're very dependent on him and possibly to the point where he's felt he's become a father, not a husband to you. The fact that you mention that he pays for the house, so it's "his" says something to the fact that you're quite a submissive person too and kind of put yourself in a role to be a subordinate rather than wife. you seem to dethrone yourself of the equal place by his side and by your words, I think the way you see yourself in the relationship isn't that of an equal to him at all.. Granted, if he's not ever told you these things, it's not entirely your fault either. If he's let it stew to the point that he feels he needs time away from you it also says that he's been too silent about things bothering him for longer than you know, that, is his part in this. He should have communicated with you all along about everything and he hasn't.
Its wasnt just about paying the mortgage. He said I wasnt cooking dinner every night. Plus, I had him match socks a few times. He said because he makes the money that he should get a home cooked meal every night and I should never of asked him to help with the laundry. We never had a problem before. Then on top of that was paying the mortgage and my tuition. My masters program was discussed prior to me enrolling. I dont make a large earning but I do make enough to pay the small bills, groceries, and things that I need.
He would come home angry from work and demand that I have sex. by him demanding it turned me the other way. that happened for almost a week. I told him that I didnt like how he treated me but it was only my fault.
Your right. He would take care of things and I would be ok with it. We have always been fine (that I knew of). Until one day he came home and exploded telling me to leave. He said a lot of hurtful things that he now says he didnt mean. He still said them.
Honestly, we were fine. We would sit, talk, and laugh. Talk about what we wanted in the futre, what I was going to d owhen I finish school, etc... So why wouldnt he communicate to me about other things?