Hi I am new here. I haven't had much luck with my diagnosis. Several shrinks down the line, I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder and Depression. I have reasons to believe that I may be Bipolar, though I'd be very happy if I am not. Plain vanilla depression seems to be easier to live with.

Can you help me understand if the feelings of High Self Esteem only exist amongst Bipolar patients while the Depression patients always feel low on self esteem? I have a very high self esteem when I am at work or anywhere outside amongst others, but I panic and freak out when I am alone for no reason. And no, it is not a coping mechanism. I am generally confident, know what I am doing, am good at work and have moved up the corporate ladder to be considered successful. I am happily married with kids and have hobbies. However, I don't have any friends and it is mostly due to my feeling of me being better than most on the planet. Yet I panic when I am alone. I no longer like the sound of this as until today, I knew nothing about Bipolar Disorder.

I was on Celexa for a year and it over stabilized me to a point where I became like a monk, no happiness or sadness whatsoever. Then Cymbalta for 6 months and I felt like a god. I felt like there was nothing I could accomplish. I had to give it up recently due to most anti depressants causing hives. I am told that it is a common side effect. I got a prescription for Effexor XR today, yet to begin the course. I thought I could live without the Cymbalta but this morning I woke up crying. I felt alone on the planet. Like somebody abandoned me on earth and left and now I am all alone. Then I was at the mall for lunch and was staring at almost everybody as lesser mortals. Get my drift?

Please tell me I am not bipolar, just very very messed up.