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Originally Posted by Seeyalater
Its wasnt just about paying the mortgage. He said I wasnt cooking dinner every night. Plus, I had him match socks a few times. He said because he makes the money that he should get a home cooked meal every night and I should never of asked him to help with the laundry. We never had a problem before. Then on top of that was paying the mortgage and my tuition. My masters program was discussed prior to me enrolling. I dont make a large earning but I do make enough to pay the small bills, groceries, and things that I need.
He would come home angry from work and demand that I have sex. by him demanding it turned me the other way. that happened for almost a week. I told him that I didnt like how he treated me but it was only my fault.
Your right. He would take care of things and I would be ok with it. We have always been fine (that I knew of). Until one day he came home and exploded telling me to leave. He said a lot of hurtful things that he now says he didnt mean. He still said them.
Honestly, we were fine. We would sit, talk, and laugh. Talk about what we wanted in the futre, what I was going to d owhen I finish school, etc... So why wouldnt he communicate to me about other things?
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That helps to say all the other stuff going on but I still, based on what you've said, "it seemed fine, etc.." and how it seems sudden that he start acting this way that it leads me to believe he either hasn't been honest with you about his qualms about the relationship and it boiled over for him or something drastic has changed.
The part that kind of makes me confused is that he says he feels like he's your father but yet his behaviors and attitudes say he's the type of man that likes to dominate and be "in power" Perhaps part of that desire is that it gives him the reason to lord it over you like he does and complain that you're not like a wife but a daughter. perhaps that's just bs and he uses it to keep you down. Honestly it sounds like emotionally, this is an abusive relationship. you're dominated and controlled by him and he seems to want to set all the rules. That you should be making him dinner, shouldn't ask him to do laundry... all that is a power trip and not the makings of a good relationship at all. In an equal and fair relationship both sides do for the other, sometimes things that they don't even like to do and don't worry so much about the roles of each person.
another thing that bothers me. you said
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I told him that I didnt like how he treated me but it was only my fault.
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Hopefully i misunderstood and you meant he said it was only your fault but if that is you speaking and you think that how he treated you is your fault then there is something faulty in your thinking. please let me know if I misread that.