My psychiatrist says that it's the worst part of schizophrenia. He said if I stop my meds, I'll get even more disorganized. Like right now I'm looking at things as signs or symbols. My speech is getting better because of the Vyvanse. I still forget what I'm saying in a sentence at random times and once I concentrate for an awkward 10 seconds, it comes back to me or it doesn't. Even completely going off topic without knowing.

A friend gave me 4 cigarettes and I lost them so he gave me 4 more. Just as a good thing to do. I told him I'm not going to smoke anymore and said that I could sell them because I have no money. The crack head wanted to go for a smoke. He took all my money. Of course I said no.

The guy in the wheelchair that chose not to walk asked for a coffee with the 5-10 dollars I have left. I started pushing him and then said I'm leaving after he started talking about that gold mine combinations that he got from lepricons. I tried to talk to him logically and he gets passive aggressive so I walked away.