i lost my sister to suicide about a year and a half ago. I still cry sometimes. I still feel guilty and have so much regret. Why didn't I get her into a hospital when I knew the symptoms were bad? Why didn't I love her more instead of fighting all the time and pushing her away? I would do anything to change how I treated her. How I behaved the last year and a half she was alive.

I have so much guilt. My therapist says she would have found a way to commit suicide anyway. But what if I had been in her corner, as her advocate? No matter how verbally aggressive she got, why didn't I try to help her more.

I know I wasn't in control of the situation.
But I wish I had done more. Two weeks before she died she was visiting and told me I was her best friend. I don't feel like much of a best friend after all. I never even really knew her. Why couldn't I anticipate this?