It's horrible enough that depression makes our inner-world feel like an endless, turbulent ocean where staying afloat is an everyday effort. But to see ourselves withering on the outside makes things only tougher. I struggle to eat anything more than a granola bar in any sitting, and I worry that my mother is going to see how skinny I've gotten the past few months.

Try to make it your first priority to get help. I don't know your situation, but maybe a sympathetic friend or relative could loan you money to see a mental specialist. Until then, just talking about your troubles can ease pains a little. If you want I'm always open for a chat, finding someone to accompany you through this dark place can be of vital importance. Despite the distress and hopelessness that reigns over our life, it's all an illusion of the depression, take solace that even though its crippling, there are so many people who've been able to escape it.