Thank you very much again, dear friends.

I want to clarify a few things:

I did not know that he was gay when I started developing these feelings for him a year ago. There is nothing about him that gives away that fact, and he took his time to tell me (I don't judge, can't imagine how hard it may be dealing with this issue).

Since the last time he was here, all of our communication was initiated by me, he replied only once or twice each time and then disappeared again, always saying that everything's OK. last time (when I told him about setting him up with my friend) he even wrote that we really should meet soon, but stopped replying and didn't write me back ever since (it was exactly a week ago). And he is on FB a lot, it's not like he's not online and too busy to write me back.

I can't get him off my mind, as hard as I try (and I am trying). I know that we will see each other again in a month for work, and things will be awkward... I will not be able to pretend that everything is cool and as usual.

I never told him directly how I feel, though I believe he knew. I want to send this letter so much, but I am afraid of the consequences... what if he then leave our project? I am taking my time to decide for now. I did write it very honestly, explaining my behavior in a clear and simple way.

I am afraid that he might not be the type of person that can handle feelings well... if he is avoiding me now - what will happen after the truth will be out there completely?

He is 29, and has never been in a relationship with either men or women. There is something unclear about it there that I am not really sure of.

More than anything, the thing that is killing me that most is the feelings of shame and guilt that I can't overcome, that I destroyed this friendship with my pressure, instead of just letting it be.

But maybe it had no chance in advance, as long as I have romantic feelings for him.