Thanks, I'm getting better. I still have some weird things going on, but it's better... Ugh. Health, food, sleep, exercise... these things just seem so hard to juggle with all the normal life stuff. It shouldn't be so hard! (Sorry, I may be a little whiny at the moment!)

Oh wow. Geez, I wouldn't know what to say to the CEO either. Clearly, you're not going to be installing something on your day off, and certainly not something that's not even here. If he weren't the CEO, I'd be tempted to say something a little snarky, but that probably doesn't fly with a CEO. I'm sorry... ugh. Can you write it off as he's probably frustrated, and it's not really your fault? Maybe kind of like what you said about your mom... you need to ignore his unrealistic and hints about how things should be done, and just do what a normal person would do - which is wait for the equipment to come in, and install it on a day that you're scheduled to be working?

Once again, I'm glad you're not actually a full-time employee having to deal with this guy. *shudder*.

I really do relate to burning yourself out trying to make sure something gets done (and done well). It's hard to step away from the guilt... but I think you've already realized that you're only hurting yourself when you do that, and that's not really the norm for most people? It's *FANTASTIC* for your boss - because they get somebody willing to work 100-hour weeks and sacrifice any sort of life to get things done perfectly, but it's not good self-care, and it's not good for your happiness or sanity.

I guess the way I'd try to look at it is... they hired you as a part-time person. They agreed to that. That means they said, "yes, this is acceptable. We're 100% on-board with getting 24 hours of service from you each week." So, that's what they get. Sometimes people don't understand what can be realistically done in that time, so in that case, you have to educate them... "Oh, I'd love to get that done this week... but that task will take at least 80 hours. If it's a top priority, I can focus 100% on that and get it done in a month's time?" But, all you do by giving them lots of extra hours is sell yourself short by giving away your time/energy/efforts.

Just my opinion, anyway. I think it's one thing to do it from time to time, in an emergency, for example, to meet a deadline or help someone out. But if you do it all the time, how do you ever have anything left over for yourself, or your relationship? And, especially with a job like this (where the company is completely nuts and the work isn't particularly fulfilling) - you're giving away your life for something that's not really that important or wonderful.

It reminds me of something I read in a novel once. The character was talking about how... whatever we do with our time, that's essentially the thing that we "die for". And lamenting how many people die so that some corporation can make a few extra million dollars, rather than dying for a meaningful cause.

"...it's like everyone annoys me" - is it possible that you haven't met the right people yet? Also... do you think it has to do with IQ? I'm betting your on the higher end of the bell curve - could it be that you need other fairly intelligent people to get along well with, and the folks you're meeting are just not there?

And... OMG! I wonder if our moms are related too . That was an awful thing for your mom to say, about her life being better had she not met your dad... and I'm pretty sure my mom said almost the same thing to my sister at some point. Ah, I can feel the warm rays of love just prickling out from the both of them!

I'm glad you're signing up for your class again, I like your analogy of the neighborhood bar. And, it makes tons of sense that you should think about quitting one of the more annoying, less fun activities first if you want to make more time. Much better plan!

Thanks for the info on omission regret. And the ideas about therapy. I did go this week and actually tell him I want to try to start talking about my past and family, which I think may be helpful. We'll see. Oh, yup, it helps a lot to know I can quit if I want to!

Happy Friday. Another week done! Hope you get to enjoy the weekend!