Hate to break it to you, but you're the one who walked away friend, not she.


I myself have struggled immensely with this PP bs, what "cured" me will probably be seen as negative or unhealthy though.


After breaking up every 3 months like friggin clockwork, my (then fwb), now bf finally gave me an ultimatum with our last reconciliation.... He told me how much I've repeatedly hurt him (I for some reason thought he was unaffected, couldn't care less) and that he's willing to try again, but if I dump him again, I dump him, he'll believe me when I say that is what I want, and he won't give me another chance to change my mind....


So, his ultimatum, my fear of hurting him again and subsequently losing him for good has kept my pushing private for over 2 years now.


I push him in my journal at first it was still frequent, but now?

Cant remember the last time I wrote to him in there.



Journaling made it easier to not lash out in the moment, so I have adopted a better habit over time.


Anyway, I don't actually have advice or anything, just wanted you to know I've been in very similar shoes, and my relationship has never been healthier or stronger than it is at present.