I don't think it is a "thing" though that you can "keep" like a token; it has to be continuously re-created and re-realized moment-to-moment and my T was telling me how it's okay to NOT feel connected; one can't ever be all of one thing or another forever. It's like thinking one can be "happy" all the time. Connection is a similar kind of feeling. For me, I just didn't need to question anymore whether I could connect or disconnect at will? It wasn't something magical and beyond my control anymore, something "out there" but rather became something of mine, in me.