Thanks, Divine 1966. Yes, I'm in therapy. I even a pdoc, but not a psychologist, because I've seen pdocs and psychologists for 37 years and not one of them did ERP or any other therapy usually used for OCD (at least what I've seen on TV).

I wasn't asking for advice, really, but I appreciate your trying. I just wondered if my intuition was right.

He might be cheating, but it isn't because we don't have sex. He stopped showing interest way before my sex drive lowered and I still wanted sex, in hoping I could overcome the pain (several doctors said I just needed to be stretched, although others gave other reasons).

He's out socializing a lot. He goes to church and we go out most weekends, plus once in awhile, we go to his family gatherings. He works a lot and often late.

Since he's asleep and, later, at work, when I'm sleeping, I don't see how it makes any difference that I sleep up to (not always this much) 14 hours. I'm up long before he comes home (and, often, he goes to church right after work). When he is home, he's usually in his office on his computer playing games or doing Internet things with his door closed.

Apartment managers and maintenance workers can't just come in anytime they want, excluding emergencies, you're right, but they can bang on your door. In our last apartment, I was awoken to loud knocks on the door, and before I'd made it down the stairs to let them in, the manager and maintenance guy unlocked the door, and she angrily asked me, "Why didn't you report your doorbell wasn't working?" Because I had no freaking idea of wasn't working! We didn't typically have visitors, so it was very unlikely anyone would ring the bell.