I'm sorry that you've been struggling through this. I can relate, sometimes I feel sadness or frustration, other moments I have this empty feeling as if I'm waiting for my physical self to perish. Down in this deep dark hole in which we've been trapped, it appears negative emotions appear to be our only company.

As you said, seeking immediate help would be the most important thing to do right now. In the meantime, the people here will be happy to provide a listening ear. Vent whatever emotions you need to relieve the pressure until you can get your thoughts somewhat straight. Just hold on, though hopelessness can be a truly suffocating feeling, try to at least have hope in the fact that it's not permanent. So many people have triumphed through the dark night, because of that hope.