I came across this article Seeya and thought it would be interesting for you to read.

The Narcissism Debate: Is It Selfish to Love Yourself? | Lindsey Smith

If you are with someone who is "obsessive" and needs too much perfection and praise, then the relationship "will be" that of having to "please" the other person and being blamed when that person is not happy or you disagree with him/her. My wife has to be XYZ, my house has to be XYZ, I need to look like XYZ, I need to be XYZ at work, I need lots of praise because I am very hollow and vulnerable inside. There really isn't a "together" in a relationship either, instead it becomes that of constantly filling the partners void and need for perfection and praise.

Your husband may have said "he bought that house for you", but you now know better right? What I have been hearing from you is "its all about HIM" and not you. He did not finish school right? Why, because he could not achieve perfectly and get praise? Your going back and achieving is a threat to "his" ego, that is typically how it goes, that is NEVER healthy. These type of individuals end up wearing a partner (even their children) down into feeling they are not good enough or are at fault somehow, after all, if their partner feels guilty, then they don't have to.

My input is not about "labeling or diagnosing" either, you said you want "truth", I respect that.

Also, you said you are going to be a coach and teacher right? I consider that a very important and influencial job. A good teacher and coach will help students learn how to respect "self" in healthier ways, not to feel bad if something isn't perfect, but to continue to learn and self improve as well as encourage team mates to do the same.

When you finish school, and take time to think about your relationship, and you sit with a therapist you will get a chance to take a good look at what your relationship really means and "if" it is a relationship that is healthy for "you". What you learn is something you can also pass on to some of your students so it can be a win/win scenario for you.
Unfortunately, there is way too much narcissism taking place out there now, too much desire for "perfection and praise for that perfection" taking place.

Don't beat yourself up for not knowing the warning signs either, allow yourself to "learn" and yes, see the "truth" too. Understanding that if relationships somehow don't work out, it's not necessarily "your fault". You were the one who chose to leave and let "him" stay in the house, it's important you learn "why" you did that, often that can mean you aready "did" have a deep subconscious feeling about this relationship and were already giving in too much. That's ok, it happens, but you need to understand "why" and learn how to improve that for yourself.

((Hugs))
OE