Before I state what my issue is I just have to let you all know that I can't afford psychiatric help or counseling and I've looked into it and looked into it but there's just nothing affordable for me so that's not really one of my options.

it seems that once I'm in a serious relationship I lose my sex drive completely I have no want for affection or anything like that. I currently have a wonderful boyfriend that I love and it hurts me every day that when he comes near me or try to touch me I just don't want to be around I don't want to kiss him I don't want a hug I feel like I should be a nun.to add on to the problem he wants kids and I thought maybe I would one day but I'm 32 years old now and I still don't want kids I don't know why I just don't I don't see them in my future I don't see the ability to care for them and want them around I love children I just don't want any of my own.
We have already been living together for a while and we have many things that we have bought together and shared financial obligations and things that we paid for together so that's going to be very difficult on both of us if we separate but my main concern now is that I know he wants kids so maybe I should tell him that I don't and give him the choice. but I'm also afraid that because he loves me so much he'll choose to stay with me and forgo his future which I don't want to do to him and I just feel like I'm not going to be able to change and get my drive back or want affection with that when I'm with him or ever have kids I'm not sure what to do.