A problem I see is that we don't all agree on what is mean. I see things I think are mean all the time. It doesn't matter if the responder did not intend meanness (often they announce they are jast being real or direct or trying to give harsh but helpful feedback or whatever). I am one of the ones who stopped starting threads that aren't just questions because of how everyone wanted to analyze me or tell me to quit despite me saying I was not looking for that.