Mary Alice,
I have the uncomfortable feeling that this thread as crossed the line as far as suicidal posts go. We are all concerned for you. We want you to be well and get the help you need. You know you are still suicidal but you left the hospital anyway. You know you need to go back. I feel like a big meany posting this but there is a guideline in our forum rules that says "no suicidal posts." I am afraid that this has become such a post becuase you have made it quite clear that you are suicidal and you won't go get the help you need. Please, dear friend, go get the help you need.
Carrie <font color="purple">