Yes, thatis why I don't want to go to the psychologist. I mean, my SI behavior comes and goes in spurts, I've gone as long as a year without even thinking about it. But when I'm dealing with other problems, which I would be in therapy, I feel like I need the cutting, because otherwise I just completely numb myself, and don't get anything accomplished. Cutting is what keeps me sane when my life goes crazy.

Update on my friend, he said he needs the weekend away from me because the whole situation is just frustrating him. And instead of making me sad, I actually feel relief that he's normal and not superman, and he's not going to just keep piling my problems on top of his. So I'm taking the weekend to strengthen other friendships and work on myself.