I have been in your shoes somewhat. I changed totally for a man and even gained a ton of weight because he acted as if he liked big women. So I got big. He was doing all sorts of things behind my back and I felt hurt all the time. Changing did nothing to change him. I think he was mentally ill and not getting any help. I suggest you tell him to get out right away as he sounds dangerous in his condition. You can drop him off at a homeless shelter. I am telling you this because he is treating you like dirt and doesn't deserve your love. I may sound drastic but I should have done that long ago. I was being lied to and conned by him and his antics. You have a son that deserves your love and your home.