I am sorry you had an unsatisfactory experience with prescribed meds. Things have improved and there are more options available now.

Your idea of getting your meds from street vendors is like sending a kid out onto a highway to play. The risk of getting hurt is extreme. The pain relief is only temporary and it amplifies the depression leading to addictive behavior that can leave someone isolated and alone.

Why not give prescribed meds a try again and if you do go to NA, maybe it could be to overcome addiction?