Dear T,
Tonight I don't want you, I don't want previous T and I don't want some 'other'. I want my husband. He's out there, missing me too I know. He loves me as best as he's able I suppose...
I'm worth more than the best he's able. The best he's able to do is love what I can do for him. And he hates me because he loves me, and maybe hates me even more because I love him.
I want a phantom, a man who never existed. The real person is a broken child who refuses to grow up, hiding in a man-sized shell raging at the world and hating it for caring.
I'm heartbroken for the man he'll never be.