Well this is a true story and I kinda rely on the coffee stand girls for my social activity. I sort of had a favorite and she told me she was leaving - felt like I lost my best friend. You know I'm not a young man and I fool myself into thinking I still have a chance at something lasting - I don't really think the chances are good considering what's happened so far. I'm a loner and you pay a steep price if you don't make an effort to connect - I wish I could be more positive but alas I feel I live in a darker more distant dimension then most. It's just too hard to believe anymore - I need coffee.