I read some of the threads here, such as 'will therapy harm me? What kind of person should a T be, etc, etc.
And I realise I didn't have any of those kind of thoughts.
I mean I'd been hurt so much that another hurt was just a given wasn't it? I didn't feel myself an adult so didn't have the questions formed in my mind. Infact the only question I had was 'where's my next drink/drug coming from'.
I knew I needed help, had only heard of therapy in films. My T can't believe that when I told her, but I'd been so split that my life was all about survival, I didn't have time or space to contemplate, to explore. I couldn't even hold a job down.
Yes, I stumbled into help here and there, and none of it helped but it did have a purpose, it was leading me toward the therapy where I've been the past 11yrs.
Perhaps if I'd been able to ask similar questions it would have hindered my journey? I don't know. But when you're clinging to a cliff edge, you don't question the rope thrower. You just use all your energy to 'believe/trust'? I don't know.
But to me questioning was a luxury I didn't seem to have.
Thinking about that I'm tempted to say 'so just what was wrong with me?' lol. T always gets a smile out if that question.