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Old Sep 24, 2004, 11:50 AM
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Rapunzel Rapunzel is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2003
Location: noplace
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You sound a lot like me. I go in spurts too, and have gone years sometimes without thinking about it, but I've been numb and not really living either - just going through the motions - and when it happens again it tends to be worse in proportion to how long I've been saving it up.

I have just started therapy again, this time by e-mail, with someone who was one of my professors last semester. It was a distance class, so I have never actually met her in person - just e-mail. I explained to her about what happens when I go without hurting myself for too long, and she didn't specifically respond to that. She did say that she was surprised and concerned about the variety and frequency of what I am doing, and asked me to agree that I won't do anything requiring medical attention, or suicide attempts, without talking to her about it first so we could try to work it out, but she said she knows she can't ask me to just stop. Nobody has ever even suggested hospitalizing me because of self-injury. I'm positive that it would do more harm than good, for a number of reasons. It would make me feel like challenging the system and looking even harder for ways to hurt myself without them being able to stop me. Also, lots of people learn about SI or learn new methods from others in the hospital. But the main thing is that I'm better off when I am busy and doing something that seems worthwhile. Being locked up in a hospital can be counterproductive. There are times when it is appropriate, such as someone who is not safe because they are suicidal or are hurting themself in a way that threatens their life, or if a break from the daily routine is needed to break old patterns and establish healthier ones (which needs to be voluntary or it won't work), but for someone who is coping (even using a non-preferred method) and is involved with healthy goals, such as actively pursuing an education, career, or family responsibilities, and is not a serious danger to self or others, hospitalization (particularly involuntary) makes no sense at all.

It does sound like your friend has good self-care skills and knows what he can handle and what he can't. That is a good thing. Good for him, and also for you for accepting that and for taking the time to work on yourself and other relationships! I'm rather impressed with your objectiveness and your ability to understand what is going on with yourself and other people.
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“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.”
– John H. Groberg