Well maybe we can help you get to what you want to say... I assume by the title you are talking about the part of you that many of us have.... the 'rock' part; the part in which we do not want to let T tear down. The part that holds all the shameful stuff, the anger, the vulnerability.... why would we want to let anyone in to that part of us? I have been with my T for almost two years, and I am just starting to allow him in to those pieces of me. Did you write this post because you feel you might be ready to let your T in a bit? Because you are frustrated that you haven't? It sounds as if you may have let her in a little by letting her see your "not so friendly" side. How did that feel for you?

Your T called because she cares. Yes it is her job to be your T... but T's don't 'have' to call. They really don't. She cares.