Sadmommy

I would have enjoyed the opportunity to greet her and her new beau with a big smile and say "Where's your pole?"

My ex used to play mind games with me like that. I know that sick feeling you speak of in your stomach - oooooh, how I know. Like you, I'm possessive when it comes to committed love (marriage). His behavior drove me to be a snoop, and it's a shameful feeling. My suspicions turned out to be true. Our fights became vicious, but it was because I couldn't talk him into truly caring about me.

I'm married now to a wonderful man, and I can see the difference. I was worried I'd continue to be a distrusting snoop, but it's not necessary with my husband. He gives me no reason to be suspicious. He asks me to check his email when he's on the road, or cellphone messages when he left it at home. Gotta say, it still feels weird.

Neither one of us wear our wedding rings either - he works around too much electrical equipment, and I like to play with my dog without having to worry she'll swallow the diamond, lol. We know we're married, and to whom.

I can't see how your husband can possibly say he loves you when he treats you in such a way. If he cared, he'd do something to prove there was nothing between them. If he cared, you'd feel it. If he cared, he'd tell you why he's playing these mind games with you. If he did this on a consistent basis, I'm willing to bet he'd get all the lovin' from you he says he needs. If he did it well enough, it might even involve whipped cream and chocolate sauce, lol/jk.

Oddly enough, what I love most about my husband is the way he fights with me. We love with passion, but we also fight with passion. He'll sometimes say hurtful things, but at least they are his true feelings we can work on together. I've been known to say hurtful things to him as well, but he's strong enough to listen to why I've said them. He cares enough to try to understand my feelings.

My heart goes out to you. If this marriage fails, it is absolutely NOT your fault. He's the one that put the knot in your stomach. If he can't take it out, do it yourself and make a life of your own.