Thank you both so much
((((((( Rohag ))))))) as usual you "get" me
I wish so much it had been me ....
And that a more deserving other had been "healed"
Dark stuff, sorry, much is triggering me too ATM, my stuff naturally. So I'm staying quiet

idk how long this post will stay up for, when I'll delete it..
I don't think there is a magic pill that will fix this. A recent doctor noticed I'm "intelligent"... And I know the "cure" for something is worse than the original condition
(I don't have the patience to endure an "existence" with this ****ed up body indefinitely

BAD BAD fuzzy )