I read it all and I am horrified that this has been your life for so long. I am also so impressed by how insightful you are and how well you have taken care of yourself when you didn't have access to psych care. It takes a great deal of control and self-awareness to manage the symptoms through something that incredibly difficult and emotional even if you have a therapist and psychiatrist. You've managed to control what you need, set up a support system that can help you manage a disorder that likes to attach itself to chaos which you most certainly were living with and continue to be a good parent and an incredibly good and patient spouse to someone who didn't deserve it. That is pretty amazing.

If you can do all of that and then realize how bad it is and get out of the situation you are so strong and have a really good sense of how to manage your bipolar. You have the right instincts and that counts for a lot with this disorder, knowing how to respond to what you are feeling and keeping yourself out of trouble using a strong support system.

Since stressors trigger episodes leaving so much stress behind may alter how you experience the disorder. Your wife may not have caused it, I think the cause is something biochemical, but she may have triggered a lot of what you experienced while she was mistreating you so badly.