Hi kaliope and thank you for replying to my post. I am thinking the same as you that I cant trust him and I dont. I dont think I would later either. But I dont know how to overcome the pain he caused me. It happened suddenly and cut off. I lost my xhusband in a minute that horrible day.

I experienced loss and abandonment in childhood and one death by suicide ( my brother )before age 14.

I hope my heart will be healed and that there will be a way.

I think the same that I cant trust him and I dont. I know I will still carry the grief unless something solves out about this. I guess I just have to trust that God will keep me safe if He see that more of my xhusband will only bring more grief.

Its difficult to believe that a person who caused you so much grief would change his character.

I am afraid I will always think about what could have been if I dont remarry him. At same time I hope there will be some obstacles in the way for marriage. I hope this not because I wouldnt wish to have what I dreamed of, but because at least I would be saved for (maybe ) more pain.

To add..it is 3 1/2 year ago my xhusband divorced me. And its 5 years ago since we met.