Damn, I'm so sorry he did that to you. At least now, you don't have to be chained to someone that doesn't care as much for you as you did for them. You're a free bird now. The world is yours! Yeah I know it sucks, believe me. I recently got out of a 5-year long relationship with a guy that was my first for everything too. But you can't dwell on these things because dwelling will affect your future relationships because you can't get the subconscious remnants of your ex out of your mind. Losing a love that intense will take time to cope with, and time is pretty much the only thing on your side. You can get through this; I know you can.