It seems like canceling your TV subscription would be a good place to start if you want to make a change. I haven't had TV in over 5 years and I love it! When you're not hypnotized by the TV for hours, you have a lot more time to do other stuff. Also, stop your snacking at the store! Eat a good, healthy meal before you go food shopping and you'll be less likely to grab sweets, chips and the like. It's a lot easier to say no to a cookie at the store than it is when you're bored, searching through the cabinets.
Also, have you and your husband gone to therapy? It seems like you guys really need to work on things. But I'll bet both of you want to make a positive change, even if it's really hard to do... Start small and be patient with yourself and your husband... I hope you can take charge of your life and your esteem! Try making a dream board, put beautiful pictures of places you would like to go, some clothing you've been eyeing, add your favorite flower or animal, put your goal weight in the middle in your favorite color! Don't put pictures of fake women from magazines on there though! You are a real woman!