Divine1966, the nicer places to live cost too much. Kentucky is where family is at, and I can only get along with them from a distance. My sister and her husband (especially him) would not tolerate me for long. Yes, I choose to stay where I'm at, because as bad as it is, it's still better than I would be on my own.

My sister snapped at my a few weeks ago because I asked her if she thought I could live on my own. I wasn't planning on going anywhere, but I wondered what would happen if my boyfriend died or broke up with me. She was very negative and, in a conversation on another day, she snapped at me, accusing me of planning on leaving! She told me it would be really hard for me to be on my own. Probably, but that's beside the point. I had only asked her previously if she thought I could do it, that's all. I asked others, including my boyfriend and right here on PC.

I can't live in a building owned by a church (or a school, for that matter) because of my OCD. It has nothing to do with not being religious. "Dirty" isn't the right word, so don't take it literally, because it's not about cleanliness, but touching things from a church or school, or being on property owned (or sometimes just used) by them feels like I'm getting their dirtyness on me. I would feel contaminated.

Lizardlady, this isn't the life I want. Why I stay is because my boyfriend is mostly a nice guy and does take care of me as well as he can. Financially, I'm way better off.

I have talked with him about many issues I have. I need him to do things so I can do things, but he procrastinates worse than I do. For instance, I need him to do some cleaning and trash pickup so I can put a bin in one spot to put some of the stuff on my bed into it, so I have more room on my bed to sleep and just be comfortable. I've been trying to get this done for weeks. It's work for me, too, because I've got to sort through the stuff on my bed.

The house is messy, and I feel like I can't breathe. For the record, he's contributed about as much as I have. In my case, it's mostly because of my OCD. Like, I've dropped things, then couldn't pick them up again, because the floor is dirty, but I'm better now, and this house has always been a problem because my boyfriend got scared and bought it, because his first two choices for houses for sold really quick, and he didn't want to lose it, too. The house has always been a problem for my OCD. We had more time to look. He didn't even discuss it with me. He just told me he had bought the house. I want to blather on about my misery, but I've already gone on too long. I will say, my boyfriend thinks I could learn to be on my own.

I've been doing all my posting these past few months via my phone. I bought a new computer in January, and he continually puts off the things we need to do so I can use my computer. I feel stuck. I'm also afraid that, if I fall on my own, it would give my sister and others to criticize me: "See? I told you you shouldn't have left him, and now look at you! You never listen!"

One other thing I'm considering is getting a credit card (if I can). I want to build up my credit, because I've heard it's a good idea so I may be able to buy a house of my own one day, and not have to have the full amount in cash. I'm scared of messing up, but I want better options for the future. I'm 47. How the heck can I save enough money for a house? My sister said, if I invest some of my inheritance from my mother's passing (which I only have part of, but should soon have what's left), I might be able to buy a house when I'm 80.

Oh! One more thing. Another reason I want my computer up is, it will make it easier for me to start writing, which I'm hoping will earn me some money.