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I got fired last May( as a clinical assistant in a hospital. Was there 12 years and I hated it anyway)was on unemployment for six months because we were selling the house and moving out of state. Well the house was not selling but could not try and get a job because the house could sell at any moment. I felt like a loser for not working so I got a part time personal training job at a gym(trying to work in an area I have some passion & drive for)to keep me busy but then the house sold.
Now we are settled in our new place and I am trying to find a personal trainer job at a gym. This move has been rough and my anxiety has been at a all time high along with my inner critic and self negative talk. Well I guess what I am saying is it has felt safe not having to leave the house when I don't want to and going back out to work sets you up for critisism, failure, and can drive my self worth and confidence into the ground.
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When a child’s emotional needs are not met and a child is repeatedly hurt and abused, this deeply and profoundly affects the child’s development. Wanting those unmet childhood needs in adulthood. Looking for safety, protection, being cherished and loved can often be normal unmet needs in childhood, and the survivor searches for these in other adults. This can be where survivors search for mother and father figures. Transference issues in counseling can occur and this is normal for childhood abuse survivors.
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