Faking it, yes. Sometimes it is the only way to get through life, or so it seems for me anyway.

Something I mentioned in passing a couple of sessions ago and I thought maybe I was just blasé at the time because I felt nothing, and my T said....no, in fact, you were probably not feeling at all. It seems I have done that a lot in life, perhaps most of my life. Just got on with it, pretending all was ok........

But actually I wasn't feeling at all, which meant I was also not feeling the good things.

Now, right now..........I feel nothing. Feeling nothing and faking it daily. It is sad though. for me at least.

Sorry you're feeling this way lightcatcher, but it sounds like you are more proactive about doing things about it. That's great!