I'm not doing well keeping you out of my head. I want to see you so badly. I suppose it is good I am not going to see you soon because I would start doing that thing where I stare at you. You would catch me & tell me to stop. I keep wondering why I continue to choose to hold on to you when it causes so much pain for me but I just realized that there's the feeling I get when I am thinking about you and it is nice. It's warm. It feels safe. It relaxes me or something.

This reminds me of getting high. I enjoy the beginning of it. The way it makes me feel but just the same as my thoughts about you, it causes problems later. Maybe that's what you were trying to tell me when you said, "I'm like a drug to you and then when you are away from me you are going through withdrawal."

I miss you