New here -- would appreciate some advice. I've read some wise and wonderful things here.

I have been with a psychodynamically-oriented T for 3 years twice a week for some rather in-depth therapy. It's been a long road with many ups and downs and ruptures and repairs. I find therapy a very difficult setting and struggle with feeling safe, and I struggle with feeling vulnerable and being "found out." Issues of privacy and anonymity are of paramount importance to me. He is very aware of this, and one of his weaknesses is not being as sensitive as I need him to be in this area.

Yesterday I arrived a my session only to pass on the way out of his office a person who was a dear friend to me for many years. She and I have not spoken for about 4 years though I don't know why. I'm not sure what I did, but it has always hurt, and she did not respond to a letter a long time ago asking to have closure on the friendship.

I was devastated. I couldn't decided whether or not to tell my T, but since I was visably shaken, I ended up saying that I knew the previous client well and that she was a friend from my past. He pressed for details about what had happened and how I felt. I panicked. I said that I did not feel that was appropriate as she was a patient of his and I did not want to say anything that would color his view of her. He became a little defensive, and I withdrew.

We changed the subject though I don't remember what we talked about. I don't know how to handle this. I am sick at the thought of him discussing me with my ex-friend. There are so many intimate things she could tell him. Since he invited me to talk about her, I can only assume he will invite her to do the same.

I cannot bear the thought of returning. My safety is ruined as well as my privacy. I feel that I may be overreacting, but I am so sensitive. Does anyone have any advice for me? I am sorry this got so long, but I am so mired in my feelings of loss and fear. Thank you for reading.