How much fun is that??!! I'm probably wearing you all out with all the redundancy over all of this but I am seriously over it myself. So far, as some of you know, I have spent over $700 in the last 3 - 4 weeks on clothing, shoes, and accessories. Sounds fantastic, except we have no money. I almost bought a $320 hat the other day. What the hell am I going to do with a $320 hat??? I opened up a store credit card with paperless billing so my husband wouldn't find out. I can pay at the store in cash, YAY me! The rest has been on ebay, which my husband knows about (and is understandably upset about). I am waiting for him to notice the astronomical amount of new things I have acquired. I even bought 3 pairs of identical earrings that I really like "in case" something happens to the others. I keep telling my husband I just "NEED" this one more thing. I totaled my spending yesterday and was astounded. Will it keep me from spending? Well, I still bought the sandals I have been wanting yesterday. Christina calls it "retail therapy," but trust me, most reason is out the window. She also told me to return everything but I simply can't do it. My mind is racing. My sleep is insane. I have been going a couple of days with no sleep and then crashing and sleeping for 15 or more hours (with my toddler running around) the next day or two and them the cycle repeats. Anyone else ever experience this? I am running lists like no tomorrow. I switch from the world's greatest mom to the world's greatest witch. And, I think the greatest part of all of this is that I still feel despair; I'm still destructively depressed. My doctor is making some experimental med changes, of which I am uncertain about, and he tells me that I will finally find stability when my sleep, which is always some kind of wreck, is normal. I'm fairly sure that I'm going for a second opinion despite lack of approval from my husband or mom but that is going to cost $225 (unless I decide on a nurse practitioner which my mother is adamantly against) because there are no good doctors in my network. UGH! What do you guys think?

P.S. My meds clearly aren't working so changes are in order but in my dream world minimizing rather than maximizing (as my doctor is doing) will be key to stability.