Welcome to Psych Central (PC) jgseattles. Sorry to hear you are suffering from depression and physical disorders. I am also sorry that you express that you do not want to recover, since our own intentions are also the seed of our recovery.

Some people choose talk therapy with a therapist specializing in the are of our challenge. Others have a professional diagnosis with a psychiatrist to be sure of having a solid idea of what you are suffering from and the opportunity to see how your condition responds to meds.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.