Hi Fuzzy, don't know if I'm interpreting this right and really sorry if I aren't.........but "poor fuzz didn't realise the woman (man) is mad".........."mad" doesn't excuse everything, and "mad" doesn't define the whole person, and "mad" doesn't disqualify what you think/feel
And...."(this is partly / mostly about an abuser IRL who.... must not talk about that". If that impression has come from abusive, supportive or unhelpful people...........well you know you can talk about it here if you need to, if you want to. We're here for you
And remember you have in the past disposed of it, so let's work on making it stay laid to rest, hey?? Nothing will make you forget, but if we can just ease the memories/feelings more??? And hey, don't forget how strong you actually are too!!!!

Alison