I do agree that having clothes that fit and are nicer looking helps. Last fall I decided that while I still had to wear sneakers all the time because of my ankle reconstruction surgery I was going to wear blouses when I went out and fix my hair consistently when I was going out (it's very curly and requires taming or I look like Einstein with a lot more hair). And that did make me feel better than always going to therapy in jeans and a sweatshirt. I have a collection of workout clothes that mainly were bought for hospitalizations (no drawstrings etc) but they fit 30 lbs ago and I still wear them around the house. I've gotten really self-conscious wearing them even to walk the dogs and so I'm really glad it is finally shorts weather and I hope that by fall I either fit those pants or can get rid of them. It's so hard when your weight fluctuates with meds; I have 3 different sizes of clothes in bins in my garage. And if I don't get off this much Seroquel soon there will be more which is weird since I have little appetite with this stuff. Yet it is obvious if I don't go down on the dose soon I'll be buying new bras because mine no longer fit and they hurt. Meds are so much fun.

Sorry i keep repeating myself about the meds. I"m just incredulous every time I think about what you are on.



But oh Zoloft was awful. Later I was put on Remeron, which was pretty new at the time and the dr hadn't prescribed it before and only one pharmacy had it. It was sedating and so low-dose zoloft was added to help me be awake. It worked fairly well for a while but once I started grad school I went into what I know now was a mixed episode and the zoloft made things worse and I had to stop it. First i stopped Remeron for maing me too sleepy, then I was on trazodone and zoloft and then just ambien. I tried my psychiatrist's patience greatly; he wanted me on meds long-term and I wasn't ready.

But when I hear Zoloft I immediately think of the mania and then the mixed episode later and how messed up that stuff (and all SSRIs) made me. I suppose I'm anti-SSRI even though I know they help people. I just find them scary. Zoloft was nothing compared to Prozac which I think caused akathesia although nobody caught that. It was awful; I couldn't stand my apartment so I would stay at work hanging out on the dementia unit for a few hours since they always needed help then pace Walmart for a few hours every single day. They probably thought I was plotting a mass robbery. It was horrible. And that was my last SSRI ever.