|
Hi everyone. I am Susan and I am a transwoman currently on HRT. I am also autistic, just so you know who I am.
I find that over the last few years, I have had a distinct lack of motivation and enthusiasm for things. I am currently unemployed and searching for jobs but I feel like I can't get a job and there is no point applying for one. I also feel as though, if I got an interview I would turn it down. I have no idea why at all. I just feel like there is no point to anything in life. We are here for no reason what so ever and nothing I do will have any negative or positive impact on my life or anyone else's. I procrastinate all the time and just can't bring myself to actually do anything constructive. The only time I ever feel like doing something to help myself is when someone motivates me and makes me feel like I can do it, but I need this all the time, otherwise I can't do anything. I don't know if what I am saying makes sense but I am sure I can't be the only one. Somehow people motivate themselves and yet I can't do that. I need a treat or a reward or I can't see the point. All my friends are so much more mature than me and seem like adults, but I still feel like a kid. I don't know what's wrong with me or why I can't just do things like other people. xxx
|