The first time I was inpatient because I was having some sort of mixed state, the inpatient doctor said that for some people mania isn't as obvious. Like some people are all over the place, spending money, dancing around in the rain, etc. And other people it's more in their head.

(At least, he said something a long those lines. It was a long time ago and my memory sucks. He could have been full of ****, but that's just what he said.)

If I am bipolar (and it's not just a severe anxiety situation), it's all just bad. Just paranoia and anxiety and delusional thinking and hallucinations and intolerable racing thoughts, etc. There's little euphoria. Just anger and irritability and above mentioned and frenzy. I think I experience mixed episodes more than anything (if I do have bipolar).

I definitely prefer a plain old severe depression episode. I can handle those.

I can't handle the mixed thing. Those are intolerable and have landed me inpatient twice.

I think now they're more looking at bipolar as a spectrum thing. Like when I was inpatient in january the inpatient doctor said that, based on my history, I do have bipolar affective disorder (a term I have never heard).